


Stop, Or The Pineapple Gets It

by tuesday



Category: Psych
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-02-11
Updated: 2009-02-11
Packaged: 2017-10-07 06:47:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/62494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tuesday/pseuds/tuesday
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shawn's love of pineapple always goes two steps too far.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stop, Or The Pineapple Gets It

**Author's Note:**

  * For [baggy7](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=baggy7).



> Written for baggy7 as thanks for an excellent icon.

"Oh, you are so handsome," came a high-pitched voice from the Psych office. "Please, I beg of you, make me yours. I love you so."

"And you know I love you," came Shawn's voice, "but you know--you know this is wrong."

"Please, please. Don't make me wait any longer," came the high-pitched voice.

"But you'll _die_," came Shawn's voice, conflicted, and this is what convinced Gus to open the door the rest of the way and come in, though he knew he would only regret it.

"Shawn, what are you doing?" Gus asked cautiously.

Shawn had been holding up a pineapple, but on Gus's entrance, placed it on the counter. "Nothing," Shawn said in a high-pitched voice. He cleared his voice and repeated, in a voice closer to his own, "Nothing, nothing whatsoever. I was just, you know, in here, chilling, doing my thing."

"And does doing your thing involve acting out a sick love story with that pineapple?" Gus asked, putting his sample case by his desk and settling in.

"Not sick!" Shawn said. "_Tragic_. Like a delicious Juliet with her very hungry Romeo."

"You realize Jules has a gun," Gus said. "Be careful who you repeat that around."

"Duly noted," Shawn said. He picked the pineapple back up and said, voice high pitched again, "But I don't have any weapons, Shawn! Unless you count awesome flavor as a weapon."

"That's really freaky, Shawn," Gus said, frowning. "Especially considering that's the same tone you use when you talk to my head like it's an object attached to me and not, oh, _my head_."

"Oh, chocolate-y delicious Magic Head, you know I could never let you come to harm," Shawn said, drawing closer.

"Don't, Shawn," Gus said.

"So magically delicious," Shawn said, and he was close enough for Gus to snatch the pineapple and hold it over his head.

"Stop, or the pineapple gets it," Gus said.

"You wouldn't," Shawn said. Gus narrowed his eyes. Scandalized, Shawn said, "You would! You'd kill a poor, defenseless pineapple over this."

"It has it coming," Gus said.

"That's what I always say," Shawn said happily. "Halfsies?"

Gus sighed and handed the pineapple back over. "Only if you stop making it talk."

Gus finally fled the office to see if he could do anything more with his route when Shawn made tiny shrieking noises with each incision. Gus knew it wasn't because Shawn had issues he was working through via pineapple violence, suspected Shawn just wanted the whole pineapple to himself, but sometimes he considered signing Shawn up for a therapist anyway.


End file.
